Laws of Motion.

I’m not okay. In fact, I’m less than. My inequality symbol points directly to the right. I was always the one who encouraged others to keep going, never understanding what it was they felt that led them to believe they couldn’t. But, now I do. Now, I feel as though I’m the epitome of the feeling; the definition of stagnant.

I am not an object who will keep going until acted on by another force. Can I call Newton a liar? Gravity could not move me, not even an inch. There is no vigor, no drive to keep going. At this rate, I’m thoroughly astonished a mortician hasn’t claimed me as their own. My body is limp; there’s no more spirit left. You stole it, but I don’t want it back. Because getting it back doesn’t mean getting you back. And without you, it’s pointless.

How does a car start without the key?

Before you, I didn’t realize how little my life meant to anyone, even myself. You gave me a purpose. I wanted to be something; now, nothing. With you I’m up, and without I’m down. Fuck the roller coaster theory. I suppose, though, that what goes up must come down. You taught me that. I should have listened to your lecture when you tried so hard to make me listen. But being my arrogant self, I didn’t.

Now I’m here.

09.26.11